Damn my main PC. | Monday, May 01, 2006
Hello people. Sorry for the recent lack of updates. (due to some PC problems)
I am actually blogging through my laptop. It feels...strange. So I'll probably update twice a week.
For those who are actually concerned, my third year of polytechnic begun a week ago. I am trying my best to listen to lecture and TRYING(keyword) to do my tutorials, but alas; the spirit is willing but the fats are weak.
Here's a scale of what will happen:
Don't go lecture, sleep in class, don't do tutorial: C
Go lecture, listen in class, don't do tutorial: B
Go lecture, listen in class, do tutorial: A
Damn. In order to get distinction, I need to work harder. *sigh*
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As I said before, my blog is an educational blog. So today, I am going to teach you how to KILL YOURSELF! That's because some people deserve it. Don't be a pussy and bleed to death by cutting your wrist. There is much more to committing suicide than just that!
For those who want a quick and rather painless death, here are a few.
1) Close all the windows and doors in the kitchen, bring your mattress in, and turn on the gas. That's my number one recommended method.
2) Throwing yourself off a building. Not very original, but I would prefer a beautiful corpse. But you could land on a car and damage it. So, that's a plus point if that is the vehicle of someone you hated.
3) Shooting your brains out with a pistol. I recommend the desert eagle.
Now for the brave souls!
1) Hara kiri. Commonly used by samurais aeons ago. When a samurai get surrounded by enemies, they commit suicide to preserve their honour. And enemies respect you because it's very very painful way to die. If I am not wrong, you take a short sword and stab the left side of your stomach, then slide the sword to the right, and finally driving it up - forming an L shape.
2) Death by fire. Another horrible way to die. You know it hurts like hell to get burn at one spot. Imagine your whole body on fire.
3) Digging your eyeballs out with a spoon. (not those plastic ones from the kopitiam, silly.) I'll respect you if you do that. And you could stuff kinder bueno chocolates eggs into your now-empty eye sockets just for the heck of it.
More or less, here and there:
1) Biting your own tongue.
2) Getting eaten by wolves, lions, or bears. Try throwing yourself into the lion enclosure.
3) Strangling yourself or holding your breath till you die. <--if you can even do that.
Ta dah! So if you're depressed and thinking of suicide. Please call or sms me for advice.........for planning your suicide. And another thing, don't wear red.
PS: Raining Ichorids and ashen ghouls are a bit too slow for my taste! Ahh! But I love synergy a lot. *CoughUGmadnessCough*
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I blogged at 9:40 AM
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About Me
Name: Clement
Age: 20
Status: Single, and on hiatus
Interest: Writing, Maids, Animes
Currently: National Service
Located at: Purgatory
text
A tinge of creativity transcends reality into a beautiful fantasy
I am too modest a wizard to reveal the full extent of my capabilities
If you can't seduce a woman, you won't be able to write a novel either
Speaking to God is prayer, God speaking to you is schizophrenia
Friends
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Elaine
Fonzie
Gregory
Isaac-kun
Jasmine
Kailing
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